Schmoozing…The Art of Connecting and Networking!
A common worry lately is the idea that small talk and conversation is starting to deplete and people are beginning to lose this very important skill. For younger generations, experts place the blame on videogames and texting for the lack of ability to communicate. According to The Wall Street Journal, in an article titled “How To Be A Better Conversationalist” by Elizabeth Bernstein, one can develop conversational intelligence. Bernstein expresses that conversation is not difficult if you keep in mind one thing: Focus on the other person. This will in turn make it easier for the other person to generate a meaningful and interesting conversation and alert them that you are interested in talking.
The Hidden Benefits of Chit Chat
Dr. Caducci, professor of psychology and director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast, in New Albany, Ind, provides insight on how conversation can be divided in five different stages and how to keep it flowing.
Stage one: “Getting Started” stage, you signal your desire to talk with a simple opening line based on something both of you are observing or experiencing in your shared surroundings.
Stage two: “Personal Introduction,” you should mention something about yourself, state your name if appropriate and provide hints for topics to talk about.
Stage three: “Pre-Topical Exploration,” you and your conversation partner are looking for common ground. This is a good time to ask questions, and to refer back to and build upon things said earlier.
Stage four: “Post-Topical Elaboration” stage, your job is to keep the conversation going.
Stage five: “Wrap Up.” Here, you signal that the end is near and show appreciation (“Nice chatting with you.”) Demonstrate that you were listening by summarizing highlights of the conversation (“Thanks for those movie recommendations.”) Look for a way to stay in touch, if you would like—offer a business card or ask if the person is on LinkedIn or Facebook.
Make sure to ask a lot of questions. Those who are not natural conversationalists fear awkward silences most. Remember that people love to talk about themselves and often will think you are a great conversationalist if you talk about them. Don’t let the conversation stall after the person has answered—be ready with follow-up questions or build on the topic.
